Rapture-ready atheists form alliance with evangelicals

This is both a heart-breaking and heart-warming post about an unlikely alliance between atheists and evangelicals.

Regardless of how good and loyal a pet has been, come Rapture time, evangelicals just can’t take Fido with them. The good news is that an enterprising retired retail executive has assembled a team of moral, humane atheists who will be on hand throughout the Bible Belt and in 22 states to come to the rescue and see those pets through tribulation – and it only costs $110 for a ten year contract.

This venture, which is serious enough to be worthy of an article in Business Week, has already attracted over 100 clients. But the potential market is enormous, as between 20 million to 40 million bible-believing Christians apparently believe there will be a second coming in their lifetimes – and a lot of those folks have beloved pets.

These atheist rescuers are top of the line. In addition to being serious, dedicated, moral and ethical animal lovers, the representatives of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets “must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check.”

In addition, they must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge.

But it gets better… A portion of the income generated from advertising on the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets site is contributed to community food shelves and food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire.

Are these atheists God-fearing or what?

With responsible humanitarians like this walking the earth and offering peace of mind to rapture-ready souls and pets in distress, you would think that Dispensationalists could revise their theology a bit and give some selected and loyal atheists access to the pearly gates…and perhaps even let in a canine or two.

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Comment by Jewish Israel on March 18, 2010 at 1:38pm
Rapture theology is reportedly changing. JI has heard that there's supposed to be a new movement in which the members have started to reject the idea that they will be raptured prior to a period of tribulation. Supposedly they stick around to be warriors of the end times who need to cleanse the world of evil before the Christian Millennium can begin.
Comment by Jewish Israel on March 16, 2010 at 2:10pm
Yehoshua,
That's pretty much what the atheist creator of the site has to say in Business Week:
"I'm trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income....If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen, obviously our rate structure would be much higher."
And it is pretty funny. I guess these guys don't deserve heaven after all.
Comment by Yehoshua Friedman on March 16, 2010 at 11:16am
This strikes me as a case of canny atheists willing to make some money off these gullible rapture-believers. It's pretty funny.
Comment by Jewish Israel on March 15, 2010 at 12:21pm
Liberal journalist Max blumenthal also teased paticipants in the 2007 CUFI conference by asking, "Can I get your car when it [the Rapture] happens?"

There are a bunch of amusing ethical dilemmas involved with this pet project. For instance, what happens if one of the atheists committed to recover specific pets in a certain area comes to a sudden belief in the Christian diety -thereby making him or her eligible to be raptured? As a moral individual, does he or she forgo heaven in order to fulfill obligations on earth or do they say, "to hell with it" and drop Fido and their contract in favor of paradise? And will they have to answer for that sin?
Comment by Sharon Elizabeth Kerr on March 15, 2010 at 5:32am
I find it amusing. By the way, give them my e-mail address and tell them to sign over their wordly possessions lol.

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